Esti Kedem โ€” Birth & Relationship Expert, CBT Certified The Secure Bond
Free ยท 3 minutes ยท Private โ€” no right answers

How close are you, really?

Twenty-eight gentle questions about the seven quiet pillars of a relationship. At the end you'll see exactly where the two of you are strong, where you're tender โ€” and where the longing lives.

Answer about the last month, not your best week. You can take it alone, or each partner separately and compare.

0 of 28 answered
1 ยท The Talking
Not the logistics โ€” the real conversations.
Most days, we talk about more than schedules, kids and chores.
When I share something that matters to me, I feel truly heard.
We still ask each other "how are you, really?" โ€” and wait for the answer.
I can bring up something hard without it turning into a battle.
2 ยท The Closeness
Warmth, touch, and feeling like an "us."
We have small moments of affection most days โ€” a hug, a kiss, a hand.
I feel wanted โ€” not only needed.
We still laugh together.
When we're both home, we feel together โ€” not just near each other.
3 ยท The Team
The home, the load, and who carries what.
The running of our home feels fairly shared.
Things happen without me having to ask twice.
Each of us gets real, guilt-free time off.
My partner notices what needs doing โ€” I don't have to manage it all.
4 ยท The Repair
Every couple fights. The strong ones repair.
After a fight, one of us reaches out to make peace within a day.
We argue about the issue โ€” not each other's character.
I can say "I'm sorry," and I hear it back.
Disagreements end with us clearer or closer โ€” not colder.
5 ยท The Seeing
The deepest one: do you still feel seen?
My partner thanks me for ordinary, boring things.
My partner sees who I am these days โ€” not only who I used to be.
The effort I put in gets noticed.
I still feel chosen.
6 ยท The Satisfaction
The heart of it โ€” answer slowly, and honestly.
These days, I feel satisfied with what our relationship gives me.
Our relationship is meeting the hopes I once had for us.
Facing life, I feel proud of us as a team.
Knowing everything I know today โ€” I would choose my partner all over again.
7 ยท The Parenting
The hardest arena of all โ€” where partners most easily become opponents.
When it comes to the kids, we feel like one team โ€” not two referees.
We back each other up in front of the children โ€” and debate privately.
We can talk about our parenting differences without it becoming "who's the better parent."
Even in the thick of parenting, we still have moments as a couple โ€” not only as mom and dad.
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The most powerful next step: invite your partner to take the same check-in โ€” then compare your five pillars over a quiet coffee. Where your answers differ is exactly where the conversation is waiting.

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The most important thing you'll read today

Wherever your numbers landed โ€” hear this: a secure bond isn't born. It's built. Every tender score on this page is not a verdict; it's a place where love is waiting for attention. Couples move these numbers all the time โ€” with small, daily, learnable steps.

Want to look at your picture together โ€” and leave with your first two steps? That's exactly what my first session is for.